I saw him just laying there on the bench. He wasn’t really moving and I was being stitched up on the table, unable to move. Never have I felt more helpless and vulnerable in my life. They brought him over to me briefly so I could kiss his little soft cheek and when he cried apart of me did too because all I wanted was his little embrace. To feel his little warm body pressed up against mine and to bond with him celebrating what an achievement we had both made to get to this point.
They said he was finding it a little hard to breathe so he was put on oxygen and wheeled away into the NCIU. I remember a midwife coming in early that morning excited about my baby and I responded sadly that I hadn’t met him yet. I had spent 9 months growing him, had battled long and hard to bring him into the world and there I was in a dark, cold empty room- alone. I wondered what our little one was doing. who was feeding him? was he okay? I remember when I was in labor saying that all I wanted to do was sleep but now I couldn’t, my mind was focused on him.
The sun rose the next day and I was desperate to meet him. We couldn’t get up into the NCIU until 11 am where I was wheeled by my wonderful husband, brad to meet our little man. when we arrived brad wheeled me straight to him but we got told to go back to the door and wash our hands. Tears were gushing down my face as I washed my hands and arms and placed my white apron on. Finally, I was able to see him. He was laying on his stomach sleeping and looking ever so peaceful. I touched his back and it was warm and he squirmed- he knew it was his mama. I couldn’t stop crying and the nurse asked if I should be in here and I thought that of course, I’m his mother.
We had our first breastfeed and he latched quickly and we bonded for the first time. He had chords and needle marks and every time he moved an alarm went off which had me concerned at first but it was just a safety thing. I was so happy to finally have him in my arms. I never wanted to let go. Brad had a little hold and I cried some more. During the night I had to be wheeled up to our boy every 3 hours from my hospital room to the NICU. It doesn’t sound like much but when you have just had major abdominal surgery and you’re on heavy pain relief everything is a blur and very hard to understand. I didn’t sleep that night. It took too long to get ready every time and I wanted to make sure I was there on time to feed. One feed I couldn’t physically make it and I remember feeling so sad.
The next day he had been doing really well and responded positively to all the changes and they were really happy with his progress. I still remember so clearly the beautiful feeling of dressing him in a onesie that I had picked out for him before hospital. He felt like my baby now.
We named him- Cove Harry Geoffrey Rathbone and he has and continues to, change my world.
Let me just say that building a business and being a mum is not for the faint-hearted. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world and other days I raise a white flag in surrender and put Peppa pig on to drown out my high achieving list. These are some of the things I learnt ( and said) in the first 6 months of running a biz and having a baby.
” Gosh, I’m so productive now that I only have an hour to conquer the world”
Simply because you don’t have it as much as you used to. I’m always thinking about ways that I can outsource help so I can save more time. This is super healthy and necessary for business growth. You can’t do everything, so don’t. Ask for help get someone to cook you dinner. whatever.
” I wonder where that TO-DO list is hiding?”
I learned very quickly to have a vague plan for the day but really to hold it loosely because you never know when your babe is going to throw a curveball ( such unpredictable humans) I used to get annoyed when I had to ditch the to-do list but now I just realize that I have to be flexible. That’s our superpower right?
” I need to save time, ill hire a coach”
I used to sit at the table after cove had gone down for a nap and have no idea what I was doing on my business. With my limited time, I felt guilty and like I didn’t know what to do. When I decided i needed help because I wanted to save time and energy, i hired a coach and it was the best thing ever. It took the load off and allowed me to not feel as overhwlemed. This is now the main reason why i am coaching mums in business now.
” Far out, i can’t get anything of significance done.”
I had to lower the standards and be realistic with where i was at. If you only operate in nap times then know its going to be a slower process than if you had more time. For your headspace set easy to acheieve goals so you feel like your winning everday and everything that you do is moving towards progress no matter how little. Slow pogress is still progress.
This has been the best and hardest 6 months of my life. Shout out to all the mums in business we really are heros!
I was a little lost about the direction I wanted to go with my business after having my baby in June. Honestly, I thought I wanted to burn the whole thing down and start again but after some kind advice from my loving husband who knows me oh so well- I kept it alive.
On long car trips with my husband I talked through what I was thinking and eventually came to the decision to close ‘ you’re my type’ down ( My old lettering business) and start my coaching business under my personal branding. The rebrand took some time and with the help of a beautiful coach we were able to define what my values were and how I could make this new business work as a new mum.
Coaching helped me and can help you:
Set epic goals that make you say ‘oh yeah!’
Before working with my coach I had a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head and so many things I wanted to achieve but when I was able to process my ideas and have them challenged I realised that a lot of what i thought I wanted, i didn’t. I was able to clearly clarify what i valued and set a goal that aligned with my values. Being a new mum i knew i wanted to stay home with my babe so my goal became:
To stay at home with cove and run an epic business, coaching women in small businesses.
If you were like me with a million thoughts/goals in your head it may help to whip out pen and paper and start writing down all that’s in your head. When your done circle the things that light you up and make you excited. This will help you on your way to clarifying what you want.
Gives you the confidence to put your best foot forward
I needed someone to mirror what my strengths were so that i could walk in confidence knowing that i absolutely have what it takes. It unlocked my inner potential that was always there and allowed me to see myself the way others do. Energetic, encouarging, caring, bad ass goal kicker. It was so freeing! A good coach should do a similar thing and allow you to feel confident so you can make decisions without doubting yourself or second-guessing if its the right call.
Allows you to see your blind spots to avoid collisions
A coach is in your life to sit in the passenger seat and identify blind spots in your life. This fast tracks growth as it allows you to potentially see damage before it even exists. A lot of our blind spots come from us not being able to see that we are freaking awesome beings with incredible potential. From a business perspective, this is essential because how we see ourselves will be a direct influence on how successful our businesses will be.
There are so many other things i could make mention about the benefits of hiring a coach but for now ill leave it at that.
Stay awesome lovely being!
I feel so much has happened in the last year that it can be difficult to know exactly where to start with all this. I guess this name change might not be a big deal for a lot of people but for me, it marks a new beginning and a fresh start. Daises have always spoken to me and they hold a very special place in my heart but for a few years, I lost the significance they had in my life. As I have been pondering, processing and realigning this change of direction they have resurfaced. Traditionally daises are given to new mothers to symbolize new beginnings. How sweet is the timing of their resurfacing?
If you haven’t followed my journey, then I’ll take you back to the beginning. I have written a bit about my life/ journey on the about me page of this website if you want to peek at my life. You’re my type started as a hand lettering business in 2014 to get out of hospitality and getting paid to do what I love. In 2017 I completed this goal and it led to some incredible doors opening including working for MYER and Westfield. In 2018 I decided to stretch myself and go ‘on Tour’ teaching my popular lettering workshops around Australia. Brad and I converted a Van and I taught over 180 students over 6 weeks the art of hand lettering. Before this tour, Brad and I had decided to sell all our stuff and spend the next year house sitting and saving for a house deposit. I’ll be honest I wasn’t prepared for how exhausting this would be, and I believe it took a toll on my creativity.
In August 2018 I broke my leg and found out that I was pregnant (surprise!!) let’s just say that morning sickness and crutches DO NOT MIX haha. During this time, I found everything super hard and I lost all motivation to do anything. Because I had achieved all that I wanted to with you’re my type I felt that I didn’t know what to do next. So, I took up a part-time role as a merchandise manager at the Brisbane baseball team and I decided that the consistent cash flow was what we needed for welcoming a little bub into the world. And to be honest it’s just nice to not think about money and just work.
On the 1st of June, we welcomed our son Cove Harry Geoffrey Rathbone into the world. When I returned home from the hospital I decided that I just wanted to rest and recover and focus on this new little cute thing I had to feed at 2 am. Anyone who has become a mum will tell you that it’s a transforming period and it can be a daunting time for a new mother trying to navigate all the change. I wasn’t sure that I would continue to run a business so it’s interesting that I’m here in the first place.
In my immaturity over the past years, I have cut things off too quickly when I got over them. I seriously questioned shutting down everything and starting from scratch again but after a lot of processing with my kind and compassionate husband, I realized I didn’t have to burn all the bridges to spark change. Maybe all that needed to happen was a gentle name change. No other name felt right than my own. Was it boring? Not creative enough? I had to silence the critic in my head and trust my gut. It felt right. I felt creativity oozing back into my life and I bought a new journal to celebrate the mark of new beginnings. I could feel words flowing back into my journal and scribblings of flowers began to appear. I knew that I was on the right track for a change.
Most importantly I began to dream again. I dreamt of working with beautiful people who wanted to change their lives but had no idea where to start. I would laugh, cry and dive deep into conversations with them all to experience change and transformation with them. Oh, the look on their faces when they do… Their speech changes and confidence arise. They know where they are going and what direction to take. I dreamt of a studio that I could call my own. I would fill it with plants and there would be no order to the creative chaos. Everything would be left as it was when I had that midnight thought and had to scribble it down. Paints, pens, journals, magazine clippings, a book, cold cups of coffee- all adding to the chaos. I dreamt of one-off artworks being shipped out to homes to grace their walls. I dreamt of writing and people finding healing through my words. I dreamt of running a business from home and spending time with cove and the freedom that it brings. We could spend the day at the beach laughing and eating icy poles. I dreamt of running retreats and workshops and speaking in front of people. I dreamt of owning a home with a mango tree and a huge dining room table where lots of people could sit and share a meal. Oh, how lovely it is to dream again.
So, thank you for giving me grace in this season passed. Thank you for allowing me to find my place. This is just the beginning of new and wonderful adventures.